Last Saturday I had what was potentially the greatest burger of my life. The patty was made of ground short ribs and bacon. As in, not a bacon-(plus)-burger. A baconburger. Similar to a turkeyburger, which is obviously a burger made of turkey, and not a burger with strips of fried turkey on top. Except the exact opposite.
I’m not going to tell you about the burger because today’s post isn’t about the burger — Saturday was about the burger. And Saturday was all about the burger. You know what I am capable of doing after a baconburger in the middle of the afternoon? (Yeah, this was for lunch, what of it?) Absolutely nothing. I sat down to check instagram and I woke up an hour later. I didn’t eat a proper dinner because, for the first time in my life, I couldn’t muster an appetite. I did a lot of staring aimlessly at the wall.
I’m not going to say that I felt the way Louis CK is describing … but only because so many people I love and respect read this blog. If you guys would leave me alone, I could admit to myself and the Internet that my Saturday was a big bowl of why the fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.
So, contrary to everything you’ve read so far, this post isn’t about the baconburger. This post is about recovering from The Burger. And that is where these chicken lettuce wraps come in. If you’re going to stop eating when you meet your nutritional quotient, you don’t need these wraps. (You also don’t need this blog, so scoot.)
But if you’re going to just keep eating when things taste good, you may as well eat something that is healthy and delicious, and not a baconburger. Crunchy lettuce and red onions, tangy lightly-pickled cucumbers, with tender broiled chicken, creamy tzatziki (that somehow also tastes light?), and a big ol’ wedge of avocado, just for funnies. The wraps are so good, and they come together pretty quickly if you multitask. While the chicken broils away in the oven, slice a cuc and cover with vinegar, then put together the tzatziki, wash the lettuce, slice the onions, and hack up an avocado. Throw it all down on the table, and let everyone assemble their own wraps, then crunch away merrily.
- 2 cucumbers
- White wine vinegar (1/2 - 1 cup, depending on the size of your cucumber and thickness of your slices)
- ½ c. greek yogurt
- 2 lemons
- Fresh dill, optional
- 1 lb. boneless, skinless chicken thighs
- 1 head of leafy lettuce, separated into whole leaves and washed
- ½ a red onion, thinly sliced
- 2 avocados
- 4 T. olive oil
- Salt and pepper
- Preheat your oven to 450 degrees. Arrange the chicken thighs in an aluminum foil-lined baking pan and drizzle with about 2 T. olive oil. Roast them for 12 minutes on each side, until the juices run clear when you cut into them. Allow the chicken to rest on a covered pan for about 5 minutes after coming out of the oven, then squeeze the juice from half a lemon over the chicken to finish. Cut into bite-sized strips and serve.
- While the chicken roasts, slice 1 cucumber very thinly. Put the cucumber slices in a bowl and cover them with white wine vinegar. Throw in a fat pinch of salt and fresh dill, if you are using it. Give the whole mixture a stir and set aside to pickle while you make the rest of the dinner.
- Grate 1 cucumber on a cheese grater. I like to do this with the skin on, so you get those nice, dark green flecks in the tzatziki. If you don't like the flecks, peel the cucumber before grating it. (Also, chill out a bit, will ya?) Add the yogurt, zest from both lemons, juice from 1.5 lemons (save the rest to finish the chicken), 2 T. olive oil, and a big pinch of salt and stir. Taste the dip -- it should be tangy and creamy, but still taste really fresh.
- Slice the red onion very thinly, and the avocado into chunky slices. Make sure you wash your lettuce! I know I said that earlier, but a Greato can never be too thorough. Serve the (cleaned and freshly-washed and not just supermarket=washed) lettuce leaves, red onion slices, avocado chunks, strips of roasted chicken, lightly pickled cucumbers and tzatziki sauce on the table. Layer everything on the lettuce, wrap it up like a taco, and crunch away!