This weekend, my sister and I came home to visit our parents. We decided to have a Big, Crazy, Party Saturday Night. I wanted to watch Frozen; I got overruled and we watched Fatal Attraction instead. (What? We also got dipcones at Dairy Queen. #saturdaynightbitches.) Fatal Attraction is horrible and tense and scary. And every time it got too intense I would just shout out, “We could be watching a Disney animated movie about sisterhood!” (I am lovely to watch movies with and don’t mind being overruled at all.) Also, I hate scary movies. I watched What Lies Beneath in junior high and was so terrified that I slept on the floor in my parents’ room when I was wayyyyyy too old to be pulling that shiz. (Also, I am such a weenie, I just started to google to find images or a gif or something to jog the collective memory about What Lies Beneath and I couldn’t even handle the thought. It’s that terrifying thriller with Harrison Ford and Michelle Pfeiffer that came out about 15 years ago. You’re obviously on a computer right now — you google it. Also, stop asking how old I am and trying to do the math! I already told you, I was way too old.)
So here I am, completely unable to sleep, imagining Glenn Close around every corner, scared out of my mind. And trying to articulate exactly what I like so much about these potatoes, while also jumping every four seconds and being unable to read a sentence all the way through.
And then I realized, I like these potatoes because they are the opposite of Fatal Attraction. They are satisfying and home-y. Nothing about them is scary. Nothing about them will make you jump or cover your eyes in fright or shout out: “Elsa is alone in her frozen castle and we are here instead!” They have a great texture — somewhere between french fries and a baked potato, and they are a perfect starch to go with a springtime dinner like pan-seared lamb chops and roasted asparagus.
Did I mention that these potatoes also aren’t stalkers? (Not like asparagus! Ba-dum-ching.*) If that seems like a low bar, I invite you to watch Fatal Attraction and make these potatoes and decide which one makes you feel better about your life. And after you pick the potatoes, want to watch Frozen together?
- 1-1.5 lbs. small blue potatoes (ok, fine, or any other small potatoes, but they won't be as pretty as these)
- 2 T. olive oil
- Salt and pepper
- Preheat oven to 450 degrees.
- Add potatoes to a medium pot with enough salted water to cover and bring to a boil. Cook until the potatoes are fork-tender, about 20 minutes.
- Drain the potatoes and give them a few minutes to cool off.
- Smash each potato on a cutting board with anything flat -- I used a small jar and it was lovely and effective, and easy to clean.
- Spread out the potatoes on a baking sheet and drizzle with olive oil and an even sprinkle of sea salt and fresh-ground black pepper.
- Pop in the oven and roast until the potatoes are crispy and golden, about 25-30 minutes.
*Vegetable joke! Asparagus grows in stalks. So asparagus are stalkers. (!)**
**It’s a terrible joke. Did I mention I’m a little jumpy/sleepy right now?